Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Randomize
