Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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