So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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