Betty ford says i'm here all night
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
