Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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