Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize