Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
