May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
