Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Randomize
