Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
