whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
So here I am, sexting at work.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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