After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
