The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
