Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
