Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize