I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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