Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
