What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
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