i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
people are starting to question the shark bite story
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Randomize
