i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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