how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
