Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Randomize
