Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
