There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
