Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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