So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Randomize
