what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
