member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
