Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
