why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
