i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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