I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize