in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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