I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
FUCK WHALES
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize