Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
