I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
