dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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