i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
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