normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
