I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
