so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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