At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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