i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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