i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
