Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
