God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
