when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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