So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize