why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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