I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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