quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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