This is not my ceiling
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Randomize
