A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
