i was rollin on her like bob the builder
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
