We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Randomize
