I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
