We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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