She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
