I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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