I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
being pregnant is like rehab
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
