my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize