Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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