Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize