i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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